i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
