i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
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I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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