Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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