we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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