dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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