you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
