is your mom at the bar?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
