Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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