I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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