She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
