Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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