i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Randomize
