stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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