Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
