I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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