I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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