So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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