who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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