the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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