Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
