Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize