does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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