Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
