whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
