Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
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If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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