If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
