She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
