Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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