If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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