I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
