Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
