it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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