pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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