My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
