The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My friends, they love my intelligence
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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