If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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