my shit smells like andre
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize