dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
