There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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