Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
