I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
