You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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