I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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