Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
