enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
