What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
