i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
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Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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