the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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