A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
