if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish I could teleport
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
