Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
