just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
