...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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