If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
