babies were throwing up all over the place
Farmville is her only friend.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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