She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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