Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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