Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
